Learning to receive: The key to prosperity in business

Many of you have read, or have at least heard of, the 2006 book entitled, “The Secret,” by Rhonda Bryne. The book was the wildly popular new age approach to manifesting the life you want.

I watched Oprah Winfrey enthusiastically advocate for this approach, and I was swayed by her insistence that “The Secret” held the keys to financial success. I promptly read the book and then set myself up to create the abundance I so desperately needed.

At the time, I had left a toxic work environment to work full-time as a fee-for-service clinician. I was ill-advised on how to save for my taxes and by the time tax season came around, I had a heart-sink moment when I found out how much I owed.

Logistically, I was able to establish a payment plan, but the truth was that I needed a whole lot more money to survive. I took a suggestion from “The Secret” and created a manifestation board which included writing a check to myself in the amount I needed to pay off my debt. Per the book’s suggestion, I signed the check from “the Universe.” I hung this on my wall in my Boston apartment as a daily reminder.

Sometime later, a relative came to visit to spend the weekend. She must have noticed my vision board, because a few weeks after her stay, I received a check in the mail in the exact amount I had asked “the Universe” to provide. Her note simply said, “I figured you may need this.” The gift was extraordinary and I was completely taken aback by her generosity.

Some could argue that I “manifested” this abundance while others may say that it was purely a sequence of coincidences. Yet, I was concerned with neither of those things, instead, I was consumed by a deep sense of unworthiness that prevented me from cashing the check.

I debated sending the check back, ripping it up, and considered taking it as a loan and paying her back over time. I had not been faced with such a personal dilemma before. I needed to explore why I did not want to accept this gift even though it was the exact thing I needed.

As I reflected more in hindsight, my reaction to seeing the check was extreme. I felt resistance in my gut and a desire not to have it. What a strange reaction to being given a large sum of money for doing nothing other than just being myself.

I did not want to receive this gift because it caused me internal conflict. I did not feel worthy of receiving money that I hadn’t earned by working hard. But when I tested this belief, the evidence showed I was working hard. That is when it dawned on me that working hard was not the issue. Learning to receive was.

I realized that I was working from a deeply flawed system: I wanted to give fully and generously to my clients but I did not want to be given to in the same way. I know I am not the only helper who believes this as I have now worked with many other clinicians who do the same. We are often so focused on giving generously to help others that we neglect evaluating how comfortable we are being given to. When we give without the ability to fully receive, where does this lead us? Generally, it results in feeling exhausted, burned out, and financially stressed.

The key to greater prosperity in private practice is not about how to “manifest” more clients. The real work may include exploring your worthiness, deservedness, and your ability to receive when you are given to. Becoming more comfortable receiving when given to will help you find ways to take in more without depleting yourself.