‘Intensive parenting’ beliefs negatively impact mothers’ mental health
Societal pressures are taking a toll on maternal mental health, according to research by Kathryn E. Frazier, Ph.D., and Jacquelyn Raftery-Helmer, Ph.D., both associate professors of psychology at Worcester State University.
The researchers studied “intensive parenting,” defined by beliefs that the child’s needs must be put above all else and that good parents must be constantly stimulating the children and overly involved in their lives.
In published reports, Frazier said the ideology is pervasive in American culture and manifests differently in other countries. “The moms are not okay,” Frazier was quoted as saying.
The WSU professors discovered that mothers felt compelled to enroll their children in structured activities like soccer, violin, dance classes, and tutoring.
They also thought to be a good parent meant devoting almost all their time and energy to their children, even at the expense of their own health.
Undergraduates in the psychology department participated in the research, interviewing mothers from across the U.S. The research team discovered that the mothers are aware of their intensive parenting beliefs, even when they are unable to fully carry them out.
Mothers said they felt stressed, guilty, and anxious and had depression across the sample of participants.
Earlier in 2024, Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy, MD, issued an advisory on parents’ mental health, outlining the stressors that impact parents and caregivers.
Murthy stated that it will require policy changes and expanded community programs that will help parents and caregivers get paid time off to be with a sick child, secure affordable child care, access mental health care more easily, and “benefit from places and initiatives that support social connection and community.”
His advisory identified stressors like worrying about their children’s health and safety, financial concerns, navigating technology and social media, and “an epidemic of isolation and loneliness.”
Speaking about a “culture of comparison,” Murthy said, “Chasing these unreasonable expectations has left many families feeling exhausted, burned out, and perpetually behind.”
Additionally, Murthy noted some parents face family and community violence, poverty, racism, and discrimination.
The WSU research included representatives from the white, Hispanic, or Latino and Asian populations. Women who identified as straight, bisexual, lesbian, pansexual and queer also participated.
In addition, the participants were either married, separated, partnered but not married, or single and ranged in age from 25 to 47 years old.
Another requirement was the ability to read and speak English.
Reported family household income ranged from under $20,000 per year up to between $80,000 to $100,000 annually.
In a published report, Raftery-Helmer said, “Moms are highly stressed, and they often feel really bad about themselves when they can’t meet these unattainable standards.”
A 2023 Pew Research Center study on parenting in America showed that pressure from outside sources contributes to those feelings of stress and inadequacy.
More than half of parents in the Center’s research reported feeling judged about their parenting skills “very often/always” or “sometimes” by their spouses or partners.
They also reported feeling judgment from their parents (43%) “very often/always” or “sometimes,” and by other people (35%).
Results from that study had respondents saying being a parent was the most (30%) or one of the most (57%) important aspects to who they are as a person.
The researchers at Worcester State University said they hope their initial study and the future publications derived from it can spark conversation around supporting mothers and reframing societal expectations around parenting.
Funding for the research came from the university’s faculty scholarship and creative activities program; the Worcester State Foundation’s Office of University Advancement Research, Scholarship and Creative Activity by Faculty Grant Program; and its summer undergraduate research grant program awarded to Alix Barry, one of the student researchers.